Four Years and One Day Apart

I sat and walked and paced and just listened to his intoxicated voice ring in my ears all while my sea blue eyes feel with tears. as he attempted this thing thought so long ago. And after 70 pills mixed with alcohol he managed to converse the way I used to love conversing with him for a good few hours. it seemed like things would be okay, until I heard he's stomach hurl out near the phone. And she asked me not to tell anyone and he spoke of 'if tomorrow' like he wouldn't even make it a couple more hours. And I'm writing this as he thanks me for listening to him ramble, but honestly my mind is racing and I'm only getting every other word and adding an 'mmhmm' every few sentences just glad that his voice is still blowing and he thinks I'm okay with all this but I'm just praying that I can still hear his voice days from now...

J.

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Dorothy Day

So I sat there thinking familiar thoughts that hadn't ever come together to hit me so hard. I love the way you gently run your long nails down and across my back, the way you so lightly brush my hair to the side and comment on the texture or color which takes you back through memories and relations. I love the way you call me pretty and your girl. And that sweet, southern way you call me darlin' which I've heard so much but never tire of. I love the way you sign your name, though you don't really know how those things all work and the way you sign your name leads me to believe you're still living in a whole other world of more oblivion than I realized. This is fine though and I look in your eyes and I know, you know. You know how I am and the kind of things I like. You know my heart and brilliantly, sometimes my mind. Even though you don't REALLY know. And I love everything about you and just how you are. Even though I don't REALLY know. You've given me more than I could've ever imagined wishing for. But I still want more. I want you. Please, don't go anywhere...

J.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4