Don't you know?

Don't you know how much I love you?

I'm giving you everything, every part of me.

Don't you feel it whenever I touch you?

I'm head over heels, fighting to not fall into the dark.

Don't you know how much I love you?

I can't seem to make it any more obvious.

Don't you feel it whenever I look at you?

I'm fighting this war and baby, I feel like I'm losing.
Don't you know how much I love you?

I want you never to regret it or doubt it.

Don't you feel it whenever I smile at you?

I'm praying we make it, praying you don't break my heart.

Don't you know how much I love you?

Please, just this once, try to see just how much you mean to me.

Because baby, you just don't know how much I love you...

J.

'Water' Because Who Wants To Read One More Thing Titled "Love"

Have you ever thought about how similar love and water are? Probably not. So allow me to spill my thoughts out for you.
Love is kind. Love is mean. Love is pure. Love is indescribable. Love is beautiful. Love is [in]destructable. Love causes war. Love is a weapon. Love is many, many things. Do you agree?
Now water.
Water is kind. Water is mean. Water is Pure. Water is indescribable. Water is beautiful. Water is [in]destructable. Water causes war. Water is a weapon. Water is many, many things. Do you agree?
Without reading that, would you be able to describe water in more than three simple words? I know you'd be able to describe love in many more words than three. But then it would be just the opposite of water. Wouldn't it? But do you really understand love until you experience it? And once you experience it, isn't it just about as indescribable as water? I think so. And how many pictures do see taken of lovers? How many of water? probably close to the same amount. The wonder of water intrigues us just about as much as the wonder of love.
Now let me ask you again, have you ever thought about how similar love and water are? Probably. Don't you think it's ironic how something we take so lightly and think of as so simple can be so similar as something everyone is searching for and takes so seriously? Yet... imagine life without these two things. Without water, you would be physically unable to survive. Without love, you simply wouldn't want to be alive...



J.

The Rain and Me

Close your eyes.

Let the world spin fast around you.

Let the water splash upon you.

Let it caress your face like it ought to.

Set aside the pain.
All the despair that life throws you.

Everything is well in my world because I have you.

Dwell in the wonder and magic between us.

It's all I now can do.

Stand in the rain.

Let it not cover your tears.

But rather, let it set the stage for you.

Let it embrace you.

Don't let it beat you blue.

Be the one you choose.

Drunk, beaten and bruised.

But with you, I am blessed.

Even with the rain.

So let me be.

With you.

Let the rain beat between us.

Around us and surround us.

My world is a rush.

But you're rushing right beside me.

So everything in my world is okay.

And honestly, it's not.

But we'll let it be.
Because with you and me, everything is grand.
The rain soaks me.

Revealing the real me.
The lame girl I hope you still want.

But remember not to flaunt.

Because the rain knows all flaws.

But don't worry, because it embraces everyone.

Everyone who embraces it.

Don't run from the rain.

Don't run from me.

Don't run from the pain.

One day, you'll see...

J.

All This Longing Leads to Lonliness;

wrap your arms around me;
so i'll be safe and warm.
let your love surround me;
so i'll never feel so torn.
whisper in my ear sweet nothings no one hears.
look me in the eyes;
so we'll end up in the skies.
be within my reach;
so my heart won't ever breach.
let me call you my own;
for in my heart is your home..


J.

"Life Vest Under Seat"

"Please keep your seat belt fastened while seated." "Your cushions may be used as a flotation device." Blah, blah, blah. Same ol', same ol'. Oxygen masks. In case of... sudden pressure change in the cabin?
Can I use it now? People. So many. Different faces, from different places, with different manners. Scratch that. Different ways of demonstrating THEY HAVE NONE. So, no mask. Okay, window. Let me have the window. I need to escape this place. Pressure? No, we're not even moving yet... It's my head. All in my head. Here we go. Down the strip (that frankly, seems too small). Faster. Picking up more speed than most would be comfortable with. This situation is a reasonable exception however. Eyes closed. It's more fun just to FEEL the flying. Open. Watch this plane belittle the world. I wish i could tumble out the window and fly away from these machines. Be in the atmosophere, among things that are meant to be there. But higher. Where the birds can't quite reach me. And higher. Where even the machines don't dare attempt to go. Upward through seemingly never ending condensed water and air. Beautifiul clouds. Mysterious and contradicting air. Clouds, clouds, clouds. Never wanting to come out of them. Sky diving sounds fun. Down. Fast. Faster than anything in this natural world. Past the machines. Towards a mystical blue. So divine. Unmistakable. Flashback, the sign. "Life vest under seat."


J.

Until Tomorrow

It's kind of nice how I quite often catch my feet not touching the ground.

One day, feeling the emptiness beneath my feet, I heard the question:

Where has all the love gone and what have we become?

Storm clouds full of thunder move silent as they drum and when they're gone,

we'll be fine until tomorrow, I hope it won't rain.

Because until tomorrow, I won't have the pain.

When my feet are inches off the ground.

It's as if I'm floating above it all.
The leaves will blow.

They will blow and roll and flow.

They will flow.

In the night-time breeze.

The peaceful, crisp, beautiful air no one seems to notice while stumbling through it.

They won't notice the little bench where a torn soul sits.
A soul whose feet aren't touching the ground.

Not until tomorrow.

So where has all the love gone and what have we become?

It seems to all be stuck between the bottom of my feet and this defiled ground.

Maybe we all need to notice our feet not touching the ground half as often as I do.

Can you feel it?

It's as if I'm attempting to push together the same poles of a magnet.

They resist.

Can you feel it?

I can.

Gently swinging these limbs, completely out of rhythm, feeling the friction.

The force of something that only the leaves and clouds can see.

Where has all the love gone and what have we become?

Faces full of sorrow look across places full of wonder, and once they stop thinking

we'll be fine until tomorrow.
Because until they stop thinking, they'll still think of the sorrow.

But in those places of wonder, as long as my feet aren't touching the ground,

I'll be okay until tomorrow.

J.

oh love;

oh love, how you confuse me
you can hurt me so
yet make me feel greater than anything could come close to making me feel
oh love, how you induce me
with your strength
yet your weakness.. it kills
oh love, how you forget me
you're terribly wonderful when i have you in my arms
yet when you leave me cold you dont seem to care about how great you once were
oh love, how easy you are to me
so easy to get, so easy to lose
yet no one sees how easy you can be to retain..
oh love, how defiant you are to me
you shatter all the rules, all the barriers
yet there are so many under which you may fall
oh love, how you capture me
in all your wonders
yet when you're broken i feel locked out, away from you

oh love, oh pain, oh joy, oh sorrow, oh so many different things you may be..

J.

Lugubrious

you know that place?
yeah, that one.
the one that just popped into your head when you read that question aloud.
oh you didn't read it aloud?
well did you not hear yourself reading it in your head?
yeah, that's what I thought.
aloud.
I read it aloud when I wrote it.
but not loud enough for someone to hear.
maybe if I were in that place.
maybe someone would hear.
maybe I would hear.
I have thoughts drowning out thoughts that are already collapsing thoughts.
would you like to know one?
I'd like you to know one.
but you don't know.
even when I'm SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.
you can't hear me.
so, I never opened my mouth, so what?
yeah, you're right, I don't want you hearing me all the time.
but I don't know how much louder I can scream.
I wonder if you can hear me when I tell you this is the place.
you know, that place.
can you hear me now?
I'm laying in my recliner.
this is where I'm sleeping tonight.
but everytime I close my eyes, I can feel your body.
your body somewhat awkwardly, yet very comfortably with mine.
touching mine.
holding mine.
I can feel your breathing.
I'm in rhythm with your body, in taking the gas we need for life processing it, using it and disposing of all you don't need.
I can feel your fingers.
intertwined with mine.
your hands.
so unique.
complex.
familiar.
creating that heat.
the heat that's actually comforting.
the heat that makes me smile to myself.
I can feel all of your body.
transferring it's heat to mine.
so cold and fragile.
I can see your smile.
that alone takes me to that place.
you know, that place.
yeah, that one.
I see all that.
but not really.
complete and total illusion.
but a memory nonetheless.
a memory that plays over and over and over again in my head.
one that I can't manage to get out of my head for the life of me.
one that is simply strengthened every single time my body is sunken into the soft, comforting leather of this recliner.
that damn place.
my damn recliner.
my damn head.
your damn words.
can you hear me now?


J.