messy

tear my heart out,
leave me suffereing.
why can't you just walk away from me?
you spend your time confused
and confusing me.
drawing me near
only to stab me in the heart over and over?
ha!
you humor me.
you hurt me, you cure me, you make me smile, you make me cry.
but in the end, no matter how bad it is, all I can do is laugh.
laugh at the irony.
laugh how pathetic it all is.
at the anger, at the joy, at the pain.
so I guess I owe you a thankyou.
thankyou.
okay there.
what for?
because I like to laugh.
oh you think I'm happy?
haha
there you go again.
so maybe I do want you in my life.
I mean laughing at something that's funny gets boring right?
so I need you here to make me laugh out of pain.
well isn't this all just a big ball of confusion.
there you have it people.
me, being pummeled by this.
this
this
what is this?
my hands just stopped typing, the words just stopped flowing.
I guess I have to leave it for you to figure out.
maybe I'll figure it out.
or maybe, maybe that's part of the humor.
HA
HA
HA


J.